July has been filled to the brim with emotions.
July 4th: I lost my great-grandmother. She’s someone I held very dear to me and I miss her like crazy. Time may not heal wounds, it just gets easier to live with them. I’ll always miss her, but day after day, it gets a little easier to accept that she’s moved on and she’s no longer here. I spent most of my day being sad, not knowing what to do with myself, and just feeling lost. I went to visit my great-grandpa’s grave and sat there crying for a bit and talked out some of my hurt.
July 5th: My little brother’s graduation party. Oh boy. I needed to get my sh*t together and help with setting up and running around. It was such a busy day. It was a constant go-go-go! It was nice to see my grandfather come, even though he was fighting a battle of his own, after losing his mother just 24 hours ago. Despite the bad news the day before, we pulled ourselves together to make sure my brother had an awesome day and for just the day, we were able to distract ourselves and absorb ourselves into something and someone else.
The rest of July, I tried to get back out doors a little more. Went hiking a little more, tried to be active. My favorite is sunrise hikes on Lanikai Pillboxes trail. It’s a pretty easy hike (when it’s not muddy…) and such a pretty view. Aside from work, I filled time with reading or watching Netflix or YouTube. I just didn’t, and still don’t, want to sit around missing my great-grandma. I don’t like to be sad and missing her like crazy is making me feel so depressed and I know that she wouldn’t want me to be sitting around crying over her. Starting August, I’m going to try and move on from this, to try and get back into the real-world, and engage contact with other people and try to surround myself with things and people that bring joy into my life, rather than me just trying to distract myself from the pain and sorrow.
Sorry there aren’t very many pictures this time around. Starting tomorrow, August 1st, I will be trying to vlog and be more active with my camera. *fingers crossed we get a video up next month*
Also, this new series, Letters to the Year, every month I’ll do a re-cap of the month and a little break down of the happs and reflect a little. Hope you all had an awesome July, and here’s to a new month!